the little travelers * travel notes

so inspiring...

I'm really so inspired by all the great stories that are being told!  In our house we, too had an ongoing saga usually about the girls when they were in the two and four range.  Then somewhere around 5 or 6 they tired of it and I stopped doing it.  The next thing you know, years have past without a made-up story!  How does that happen?  It's crazy how fast time flies past.  They were both quite pleased with the homespun story last night and couldn't wait to hear what happened next tonight.  It's such a good reminder that the kids go through phases and just because they've grown out of a phase doesn't mean they won't grow back into it again at some later date.  So, I will certainly be borrowing many ideas from those posted!  Thanks.

And congratulations to Laura for the Iran dvd.

Today for my giving Day 15 (half way!), I gave a ditch day to my youngest daughter.  We spent the day at the Phoenix Art Museum and had a really nice time together.  Now that the girls are in school it actually felt weird to be out during 'school hours.'  I never thought about it when we homeschooled and was constantly reminded by strangers who asked why the girls weren't in school, but no one asked today but I felt its strangeness.  It was positively delicious!  I don't think I will ever mature out of enjoying breaking the rules.  Why on earth I wonder, is that such an enjoyable thing for me?  

They had an exhibit there that I knew she would love and she certainly did.  It's an all mirrored room that's pitch black except for a bunch of randomly hung tiny LED lights.  It's called the Firefly Room and really delivers!  As you walk through the room you bump into the lights hanging which starts them all moving around into infinity in the mirrors.  Since I was giving her this day as a gift, I had no other agenda in the museum of art that I wanted to see.  So needless to say we spent most of our time in this little dark room.  Being a sister, though, she couldn't fully enjoy it on her own and kept saying, "I wish sissy would've come.  I know she would love it."  The big sister contemplated coming with us all week but woke up this morning with her decision to attend school instead.  So the little sister kept talking about, 'when we come back with sissy.'  It's fun to get one on one with each child but so often for my girls it ends up like this- only half enjoying until we can all go back together.  But then there's a catch in that since the one that already saw it thinks they know all about it and keeps mentioning the prior time she was there- and we all know how that goes!  I don't know of anyone who likes seeing a movie with another person who has already seen it! 

Iran DVD giveaway!

All this giving and then I realized I haven't even given away an Iran DVD yet!  That's where real life and blog life sometimes forget to mix!  But here's the catch:  I met Ray Bradbury's daughter yesterday- well, I actually have known this woman from yoga, but found out yesterday her dad was Ray!  So of course I asked what he was like as a dad and what it was like growing up with him.  And, not surprisingly, she said, "Well, of course we had the best bedtime stories."  She said he'd drag them out over weeks in little installments that would keep all the kids begging for more.  How fun.  So I felt inspired to do a little homespun story telling myself tonight.  And here's what you have to do to enter winning a dvd- a little story telling yourself tonight to your kids.  I think we forget how fun a made up story can be rather than reading a book.  So tonight after reading a chapter of the book we're in I'll begin the tale of The Littlest Pumpkin Goblin.  I have no idea where it will end but I still have an afternoon drive that'll give me some time to think of something.

So tell me the name of the homespun tale you plan on telling your kids tonight before bed so when they are 50 years old and someone asks about their childhood they will reply, "We had the best bedtime stories."  Now, I know I'm no Ray Bradbury, but I am the only Mom my girls have so I will find the best story in me that I can conjure.  Now tell me yours!

overflowing

The new baby in our midsts continues to be a major hit.  Everyday I'm met with pleas of, "Can't you pleeeze have another baby?"  The short answer being, "No."  Pretty much the same as the long answer.  There is rarely a moment when the new little one doesn't have 10 sets of fingers touching her.

We are diligently working on Voice Over for the Germany DVD right now, so with each scene of Germany comes more begging, "When are we going back there again?"  It's funny how in hindsight the nettle soup now becomes, "So good."  When the first time around it was just ok.  Now, the idea of walking through the forest and collecting nettles is so quaint and inviting since we're living in the desert.  There are no forests around here for many, many miles and it certainly does look inviting on screen.  I don't know what it is about this time of year but it always makes me anxious to get moving.  The girls dad is in Japan for business right now and calls conveys messages of fall leaves in Japan and I feel like I could sell my soul for a bike ride through the countryside stealing persimmons.  I know, not technically a nice thing to do.  But when I lived there I lived near a very large orchard that I'm sure did not miss the few I would eat along the way.  And then we'd stop in at an onsen for a nice bath and meal and then bike home again.  This was of course when I was in my 20's and had no kids, but now the girls are finally old enough to keep up on their own bikes- but here there are no great bike paths.  I mean, they are well maintained and paved with asphalt, but they are definitely not great!  Biking along a concrete-lined 'river' with no trees overhead is not great.  We are here in AZ right now for the grandparent factor, which has its perks, too.  But I certainly sense a move coming on...

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Day 11 of the 29 days of giving and I'm really enjoying myself!  It has really been fun to think of little things each day - whether it be a greeting card on a stranger's car in the parking lot to hiding chocolate in one of the girl's teacher's desk with a little note of appreciation- it has really been fun.  It's also been interesting to watch when things don't turn out quite as I planned.  The big sister got her braces off last week and I took off enough time to leave room to go out to breakfast to celebrate before heading back to school.  The little sister was thrilled but the big sister's reply was, "No, then I'll miss too much school.  I'd rather go back."  which sent the little sister into fits, "No, I'd rather go to breakfast."  What to do?  I lowered myself to the, "You can get a hot chocolate- even on a school day."  taunt, that was met with sheer determination to get to school asap.  Part of me was thinking, 'But this is my planned giving for this day!' and then thought about it and realized that if the recipient did not consider it a gift, but rather torture, was it truly giving?  So, we dropped the big sister back off at school and the little sister and I went out to breakfast to celebrated the removal of the braces without the subject of the celebration.  It was certainly not as planned, but it felt like the most generous solution to both parties.  That older child is always challenging me on what I think is 'best.'  And let's face it, the younger one and myself do not share the same love of institutions that the older has, so there was no need for us to miss out on our Nutella crepes and hot chocolate!

stretching

My giving continues in this organized way.  It is a very different feeling to wake up wondering what I will give to whom and my other requirement that it be fun in some way.  So I was laying in bed Saturday morning thinking about what I could give when 4 little girls burst into my room at barely 7am (2 daughters, 2 nieces) and in one big excitement asked if they could play Chopped, the Food Network show where a random set of ingredients are given to them and they have 30 minutes to make something yummy with it.  My first reaction to myself was, "Oh, no.  Not on a Saturday morning.  The one day I can lay in bed for a little bit and read- and the kitchen will be a gigantic mess to clean up..."  And then I remembered that I was just thinking about what I was going to give that day and decided this could actually be fun.  So I got up, set them up each one egg, 2 dates, a sprig of thyme and an apple.  Then I set the timer for 30 minutes and went back to bed.  The 8,9 & 10 yr old did the cooking while the 4 year old and myself were the judges.  I wish I would've taken pictures because the outcomes were hilarious.  I wouldn't really say delicious, but creative and amusing for sure.  The most interesting concoction was using cream cheese to grease the pan because we ran out of butter and then mixing the egg with hazelnut milk to make a sauce.  Needless to say it was one big brownish, grayish curdled, chunky 'sauce' that was topped with a burnt piece of toast- but it actually didn't taste that bad.  The 4 year old ate the whole plate!  There were apple wedges with 2 nut butters for dipping, and 'omelet'- term used loosely, and a scramble with nearly every ingredient from the pantry in it.  All dishes were edible and were finished.  I even offered to do the dishes.  It actually was very fun even though was a gigantic mess!  But I was amazed how a quick change of mind made all the difference in this experience!  It turned from dread to fun in an instant.

 

Sunday I got some practice with giving something I was slightly attached to.  I have this up on our nature table right now and a friend of mine has been asking me to make her a set and offered to pay for it.  I really would love to make her a set and intended to but my days are seriously so packed right now it felt like one more 'thing to do' on my list and was just stressing me out.  I thought a few times of giving her my set but I really like having it out this time of year.  So, yesterday I packed it up and gave it away when she came over.  It actually felt great.  It was liberating and I know she'll enjoy it.  There definitely is a difference between giving something away that is made for that person vs. something that was mine and I love.  I'm very good at giving away things I don't use any more, am finished with- like a book, or have grown tired of, but something I currently love and am enjoying felt very different.  A good kind of different.  I was a little surprised that I didn't feel any attachment to it once I decided.  I felt good and clean- better than if I had made her her own set because that would've involved squeezing it into my already busy schedule and just trying to get it done.  A lesson well learned!

I still haven't decided what will be given today- but I'm feeling it ought to be something to a stranger today...  What are you giving today?

29 days of giving day 2

My Japanese students have been begging to watch anime during class time, which I have repeatedly refused.  So I thought a fun thing to give for day 2 would be to show up with Ponyo in Japanese with no subtitles and Japanese snacks to go with it.  Usually  we have quizzes every Friday- but yesterday a movie and snacks was the surprise for them.  Needless, to say it went over very well with the students.  I'm not sure about how it will go over schoolwide when the word gets out- I have a feeling there will be a bit of fallout to come from this, but it was a fun day!  And I was very impressed with their comprehension after 5 weeks.  I did make them work while watching and write down all the words they understood- and most got between 30-40 words, which is actually quite high for it being spoken so quickly.  They also recognized about 10-15 characters each from street signs and buildings.  

Here's another very inspirational piece on giving:

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29 days of giving

Many of you may have already heard of this, but I just found it today.  I was completely inspired by this story and decided to jump on the bandwagon.  

I watched this and immediately thought, "I'm totally going to do this!"  Then I thought about what I should give today.  Well, let's see, my sis in law just had her baby on Monday so I still have her older kids staying with me.  I pick them up from school, we then stop by to visit Mom and Baby, while they visit I go and pick up dinner, then I bring them back here, bathe the gang and get them to bed.  Today if half day so I was planning on taking the kids out to lunch, which is rare and special for us- so surely I'm covered for today already!  Then I sat there and had absolutely no job with deciding to give.  There was no fun in it at all!  Those were already all obstacles in my day to conquer before being able to hit my pillow at night and just sleep!  I mean, I'm happy to help, but all those things were already planned and things I had to follow through on.  I needed a fun intervention.

So I started to think of something fun I could give when it hit me.  A few weeks ago I had yard duty at the girls' school and overheard two little girls writing notes to the faeries and leaving them by the tree.  At the time I thought to myself that I ought to bring fairy dust or little crystals to plant there the next day but kept forgetting.  Well, I remembered today.  They weren't even real crystals- just pink Himalayan rock salt hammered into small pieces that a faerie might be able to transport.  I tossed them by the tree and when I saw the two girls at pick-up I mentioned that I saw something by the tree that might be for them.  They ran over to the tree and were over the moon with excitement.  They danced and laughed and jumped up and down and shouted to the sky, "Thank-you faeries!"  And it was perfect.  Costed nothing, but the reward was huge.  Now that's a game worth playing! 

So, today is day 1 for me and I would love it if some of you played along!  I think it would be a blast to see posts here of what some of your are giving each day that are fun and creative (what I LOVE about my readers!) and can inspire each other.  I particularly liked the part where she said you should give what you're lacking or that you have an attachment to!

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I also wanted to say thank you to all of you for your lovely support on the Iran DVD!  I really do appreciate it!  Thanks!!!

Iran DVD available!!

Finally!  I really can't believe how long it took me to wrap this up!  It was 90% completed before leaving for Germany in February.  Once we were in Germany some serious computer issues put me back months and then there was working on a whole other country filming, while at the same time living in someone else's home- and all of those girls! haha.  So, anyway it is finally finished and available!  Thank all of you who have kept patiently emailng me asking WHEN it would be ready.  The answer is NOW!

 

Watch trailer here.

Purchase here.

I love all of the countries that we've covered, but this one is somehow holds a special place for me.  I think it is because I know most Americans will never travel to this country themselves, where the other countries we've gone to a more likely.  I feel I have a bit more responsibility in showing what it was like for us there since so little information is available to the West about the realities of this country.  I really hope that as many people as possible will watch this DVD.  Even the mere name Iran, evokes a negative response by most people in the West.  Yes, the president and the ruling regime are pretty wacked out, but the people of this country were so lovely to us and most of them are really wanting change.  It is a bit heart-wrenching to see what is going on there politically right now.  But this DVD is not political.  It is the country through the eyes of children.  We went to amusement centers, beautiful gardens, into homes, mosques and ate very well.  It is the Iran that very few people get to see and I feel very fortunate to have had the experience and to have shared it with my two daughters.  I really hope you all enjoy it!

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And PS, I got out of bed, turned on YouTube and actually did the gratitude dance first thing this morning.  The kids came in asking me what on earth I was doing and I told them to join in!  They mostly just stood there laughing at me- but we were all in a great mood afterward.  I think this is going to be my new morning ritual.  It was a bit of a workout actually to keep up with him for a full 5 minutes.  Time to get in shape, I guess.

And I think I've turned into my mother!  I do recall having to do jumping jacks in the morning as a kid while saying, "I'm enthusiastic!"  Only, with her heavy German accent it was more like, "I'm entoosiastic."  Now I'm asking my kids to join me in the gratitude dance.  haha.  But I just have to say there is no way one can be in a bad mood while doing the gratitude dance.  It is so goofy- all we could do was laugh.

the gratitude dance!

So, it occurred to me that my last few emails have been quite a b*tch fest!  Enough already.  Time to stop focusing on all the noise of this world.  There will always be things that aren't right, but for now I've definitely got to shift my focus and get it on something positive!  I found this and am sooo in love with it.  I went digging through YouTube videos on gratitude and found Matt.  I have no idea how I've missed him all this time.  But I'm in love.  Time for me to get off all my tangents and just do the gratitude dance!  Enjoy.

I just really love this!  It made me tear up!!

A few things I'm grateful for today are:

Newborns

Big Sisters

Choices

My friend Heather

YouTube

And being able to sleep with the window open again (nights are now in the 60s!!  heavenly)

Daytime temps under 100!

And even Dr. Mercola!  I love the web and how we all have so much information now.  There are excellent Dr.s like Mercola who put out so much great info to be the voice of balance and reason in a fear-based, pharmaceutical-driven economy.  (I'm kind of slipping into another negative tangent, aren't I?)  But the best thing about Dr. Mercola is that he does the gratitude dance!  Boogie Down, Dr.!

What about you???  What makes you do the gratitude dance?

auntie, again.

Some things never get old- like welcoming a newborn into our lives.  I'm an auntie again.  The new baby girl was born around 3 am this morning.  But I have yet to meet this new little person.  She's at a hospital about 5 minutes from  here- so why haven't I seen her?  Well, I am watching the 3 older sisters and there are no children allowed at this maternity ward!  My sis in law made it to the hospital with about 30 minutes to spare before the little one arrived.  She opted for the 'no drug' route and showed up with a doula.  I, too was a doula before I had my own children- but that was in LA county.  The hospitals were not thrilled to have me there but dealt with it.  Here in Arizona, where there are no helmet laws and children are still allowed to ride in the back of pick-up trucks, doulas are not so welcome.  The request by the doula to have her out of stirrups on her back was met with absolute resistance.  More than resistance really since it was just stated that , "We don't do that here."  But she did save her from "mandatory pitocin after delivery to ensure a quick exit of the placenta."  What on earth??

During the pushing phase when Mama was making some noise the lovely MD says to her, "Now, now... you're the one who chose not to have the drugs- so I don't want to hear it- you brought this on yourself."  in a mocking voice of condescension.  Unbelievable.  And when they wanted to check out today to go home,  the Pediatrician on staff said he would absolutely not sign the paperwork under 24 hours and if they decided to take the baby from the hospital prior to HIS release, they would be reported to CPS for endangering the baby.  Unbelievable.  

It's been nearly a decade since I was highly involved with the natural birthing scene and it seemed then that things were changing a bit.  I haven't paid much attention in recent years because most of my friends and myself are past that phase and I stopped working as a doula when I had my own babies due to the very unpractical schedule!  But, wow.  How did we get here as a society?  So cut off from our own birthing process and any sort of connection?  The siblings have to be completely cut off from their mother and seeing the baby for two days if that baby comes during the inconvenient hours?  I just wonder where we are headed as a society?  What will it look like another 50 years from now?   But on the bright side, there are options!  Those who want something different can always choose homebirth.   Thank goodness it is still a right that is available and hasn't become completely outlawed yet- though many are working on it...

a conundrum

After leaving the canyon we headed out towards the Hopi and Navaho reservations.  Together with my girls we've read all the Little House books, full of Ma's extreme racism and fear towards the Indians.  We've read all of Kaya's books and studied Indian folk medicine and traditions.  But in all of that I guess I had neglected to mention what Native American life is like in this country today.  So here we were on the Hopi reservation in a coffee shop ordering fry bread and hominy stew when the girls asked where the Indians were.  We were the only  non-Native Americans in the place.  So I said, "Everyone in here is Native American."  and they responded, "Why are they wearing modern clothes?"  Oops.  Somewhere along the line I obviously missed my duty to inform them that they are no longer living off the land, communing with animals and living in teepees.  Although, we often did discuss how the White man stole their land and put them on reservations.  Apparently in their mind they still thought they were living the same way they always had, just on a lot less land than they used to.

 "So how do they live today?"  they asked.  Imagine their shock when I said, "See the trailers and small houses with broken windows? That's where they live now."  "Why?  Why don't they live with the animals and down by the creek like they used to?"  I was truly at a loss to explain how this happened without sounding like a complete conspiracy theorist and getting too involved with government to explain it.  Well, let's see there's the missionary factor- the first thing to making a culture dependent is to strip them of their native spirituality.  Then remove them from their land.  Put them on small plots isolated from others on land with little agricultural value, offer them subsistence stipends so they lose their desire to work so they become dependent on the government.  Then bring in western medicine and western food and you've got the perfect recipe for cultural annihilation.  The state of their housing is shocking.  But here's the tragic part.  Through all these  parts there are brand new, large, state of the art Christian churches, medical buildings and public schools.  I don't want to seem paranoid, but this sure feels like a conspiracy.

Native Americans have the shortest life span of any ethnic group in this country, outrageous rates of alcoholism, obesity and diabetes, rank among the most poverty stricken- even though they receive government money, one of the highest school drop out rates and unemployment rates.  How do you explain all of this to an 8 year old who apparently thought she was going to see young girls in braids and moccasins riding bareback?  

There was a family in the booth next to us in the coffee shop with a young daughter around 3 in a floral sun dress and an infant in a plastic baby carrier.  The baby had a tube in her nose taped to her cheek and had a plastic baby bottle with formula propped up on a blanket that she was drinking from.  My 9 year old looked at me and said quietly, "They don't even nurse anymore either?"  We all sat there quietly pondering how this could have happened - all within just over 100 years.  

Back to the feel-good version of the Native Americans.  The following photos were taken at the "Hopi House" at the grand canyon.  It was designed by a white woman from Minnesota who tried to make it as 'authentic' as possible.  It was beautiful and lent itself to great vacation photos.  The gift shop was located at the ground floor- oh, and it did sell real Hopi basketry for around $200 a basket.  They were sold right next to the $7 ones of the same size and quality, also handmade, but in Pakistan.  Another doozy to try to explain to and 8 and 9 year old that innocently ask, "Why is this one $7 and this one $200?"  Anyone out there want to field that one?  Parenting the under 7 year old was sooo much easier than this.  How I long for the days of, "Hmm, I wonder..."  That so does not fly any more.  Now, they are really wanting to know, but the answers are so darn complicated I can't even understand it myself and when I do grasp the real reasons on some of these things they are so heartbreaking I can't possibly fathom telling my children at this age that mankind really is that cold and driven by greed and money.  I mean, how do you tell a child that in a capitalist society money is more important than people, clean air, clean land, healthy food, a healthy body, dignity and well, pretty much any thing else you can think of?

grand canyon

It seems only fitting that now that we are living in Arizona that we go visit its biggest attraction.  This is actually the first time the girls have been here and I haven't been since I was in college.  I don't know about any other moms out there but  I do not consider this spot of beauty a relaxing way to unwind.  

Yes, the canyon is gorgeous.  However, having my children so close to an edge that drops off about one mile brings me much anxiety.  I'm not typically over-protective, afraid of heights, or suffer from anxiety and I felt like all of those things were present!  We hiked down about halfway and when we finally  made it back up the first thing I wanted to do was walk through the forest where all the trees were above us and the trail was flat in front of us.  I felt like I had to reset myself back to a place of security.  I was positive no one was going to fall up a tree!

I mean, does that post at the edge of this look all that secure to any of you??

Watching the sunset during a lightning storm was better than fireworks- and we were sitting down away from the edge!

This just may have been the highlight of the day- right in front of our car!

Even inside buildings I felt like saying (but resisted), "Stay away from the windows!"  It's just such a big hole.  I did notice other moms were a bit more like myself and many dads were the opposite, urging their children to look over the edge to look at a chipmunk and the like while being scolded by their wives.  I'm going to say this one comes down to imprinting.  Mothers just don't like their children near edges this drastic.  So, a beautiful day that was not at all relaxing...

Happy Peace Day Everyone!!!

east vs. west

We just went to see Ponyo today and it was soo sweet.  It's Miyazaki's newest film, which is based on Hans Christian Anderson's, The Little Mermaid.   It couldn't have been farther from Disney's version, which pretty much sums up why I liked it.  It is really the reason I love to read Eastern fairy and folk tales to the girls and not just Western ones like Grimm's.  I think in most cases it comes down to a difference in world view, which basically boils down to religious differences.  In this case we're looking at the difference between a Christian version vs. a Buddhist version of this story, The Little Mermaid.  

First, let's just compare the trailers:  You'll notice Disney bought this and put the voices on it as well as enhanced the colors to look more "American."  The Japanese version looks more like a watercolor painting.  However, Disney did not make the film.  Their choice of voice over and music differs considerably though from the original.  A real child sings the main song in a very authentic way and the voices are softer and simpler.

 

And The Little Mermaid:  This is a Disney production from start to finish.  Although this is when Disney began using mostly Japanese animators and took on more of a manga look to it that has lasted, the story and production are American Disney.

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Without giving too much away if you haven't seen Ponyo yet, here's the part I enjoy about Eastern tales.  In both stories the spell needed to be broken by the kiss of true love.  Yet in the Ponyo version it was a non-sexual love- an unconditional love in the friendship sense.  The characters were both 5 years old.  In the Disney version Ariel is highly sexualized and the love is turned into a romantic love.  So, what does this have to do with Buddhism and Christianity???   Well, not much.  I mean that part of the story, anyway.  But I find it irritating and inappropriate for young children.

But here's the part where I really appreciate the Eastern versions.  In Ponyo, both the mother (feminine) and her father (masculine) work together in supporting the boy to love Ponyo unconditionally.  It comes down to one simple decision.  That's it.  There is no drama, fight, killing another to overcome 'evil' and set things straight.  He just has to love unconditionally.

In stark contrast to Disney's version (really all Disney films and most Grimm's tales have this same theme), where 'good' conquers 'evil.'  Let's think about this.  Good must conquer evil for good to win.  Ariel's father had to kill the sea witch.  How many times have we seen this one go down in history in the name of Christianity.  Um, there were the witch trials, taking all power within the church away from women, turning the holy trinity, that many historians say were 3 Goddesses originally,  into The Father, The Son and the Holy Spirit.  Ok, a man, a man and an androgynous being.  The killing of the feminine of course represents killing off of intuition and connection with others and turning it into a roll of 'obeying the Father.'  Ariel disobeyed her father, then payed a price, repented and the Father conquered evil for her in the end sending the sea witch into eternal hell and damnation.  Fine, if that suits your world view.

Ponyo's version goes something like this:  Ponyo disobeys her father and sneaks up to the earth, he finds her and she tells him she wants to be human.  He goes to the Sea Queen and together the two confront the little boy and ask him if he can truly love her unconditionally for who she is- half human/ half fish and he says yes.  All who witness it are born a new and are healed of their ailments (old ladies no longer need wheel chairs, etc.)  

So, it really comes down to what your own world view is and then what you choose to expose your children to.  Now, I'm not saying that the true origins of Christianity are based in violence.  I don't think they were.  Nor do I think what most people consider to be Christianity today has much to do with the teachings of Christ.  But the Christianity that many currently subscribe to is filled with quite a bit of violent ideas and images that play out in many children's stories and I don't think many people give much thought to it at all.  

Another very good example is the difference between Grimm's, Mother Holle and the Indonesian folk tale called The Two Sisters, found in Balinese Children's Stories.  The stories are nearly identical except the 'old woman' in the Grimm's is a witch and in the Eastern version she's a 'wise old woman.'  In Grimm's it ends with one sister covered in black ash for the rest of her days (eternal damnation in hell).  In The Two Sisters, the one sister is loved back to wholeness and returns to the family (reincarnation, forgiveness and redemption).  

The thing I appreciate most about the Eastern tales is that it gives children guidance into the power of love and forgiveness- that love itself can heal all things.  It doesn't leave you at the mercy of some big all- powerful, judgmental MAN in the sky wondering if he's going to grant you forgiveness or not.  The responsibility lies in each individual and comes down to a simple choice:  Will I choose to love and heal the situation, or not?  As the father in Ponyo said, "All of humanity depends upon it."  I couldn't agree with him more.

change, change and more change...

So our house has been really full of change lately.  The girls decided they wanted to go back to school this year.  "We want to have friends and birthday parties and not travel."  This is how my life with my kids works.  My first child was a planned home birth that was born with a medical condition requiring surgery.  She was premie and I spent the first 3 weeks of her life leaning over a plastic bucket with her hooked up to wires. 

Not what I had planned.

I of course had many beautiful slings waiting to be used that waited and waited since she would lose her entire feeding if moved even slightly for 20 minutes following her feeding and her feeding schedule as a premie was every 20 minutes. 

Not what I planned.

I planned to unschool they choose Waldorf.  Then we would hit the road and they'd be out of school again.  The last few years they've been mostly out of school and decided this year that they wanted to go back and not travel.  I just think of the average public school kid that hates school choosing to go there rather than travel and not go to school!  But that's how my kids are.  It's like no matter how alternative, open-minded and cool I think my options are - they are still my options and not theirs.  So they are choosing otherwise.  Since they now spend so much time at school (yes, a Waldorf school) I decided I might as well too, so have taken up teaching Japanese to the high school students.  

It's a fun change and an adventure unto itself.  The last time I was teaching it was to the preschool lot so it's a fun change to be with kids that can use razor blades and don't bite or pull each others' hair.  

Today they each made their own hanko or 'name chop' out of an eraser.  It's a super easy method that produces nice results.  Here's  mine:  It's a hiragana 'a' - sounds like "ah)  for the first sound in my name.  kind of like an initial. 

Just draw whatever you're wanting on the stamp onto a piece of paper in ink or pencil and then quickly put the eraser onto it.  It will pick up a faint line and then carve it out with an exacto knife, or in this case the class all used straight razor blades because we didn't have exactos.  

Here's another student's:  This is a katakana "ke"

And if you're really inspired to do this you MUST first check out this tutorial at Wisdom of the Moon!!  She is such an insanely talented artist!  It is this same basic method but using a photo of her daughter that turned out amazing.  I'm sooo impressed and don't know if I dare to attempt a face so for now I'm sticking to letters.  I was thinking the supplies to make the more detailed one (it uses some sort of moldable carving medium) would make an excellent birthday gift for kids in the middle years and up.  Now that we're all back in school we're back into total birthday party mode.  It seems like every weekend we've got something...

cooperation and punishment

I have long believed that punishing children does not lead to cooperative family environments and recently got a little more confirmation of this than I would've liked, quite frankly.  There is a family that we have contact with about once a year.  We've had very different parenting styles from the get go but now that the kids are all between 8 and 10 years old the difference are showing up more than ever.  As toddlers the parents always excused the kids' behavior based on age, but now that they are all in the middle years those same excuses don't really fly.  No one is a toddler anymore.  The main thing that stood out for me was the other girls lack of compassion.  Whenever they hurt someone else their first response was, "Are you going to tell on me?"  They were relatively unconcerned with the person that they hurt.  There were no signs of visible remorse or regret- only fear that they would be getting in trouble.  And equally disturbing was their seeming pleasure with trying to get the others 'into trouble.'  "Into trouble" in their house means: spankings, time-outs and getting TV and video games taken away from them.  We do not have "getting in trouble" in our house, nor TV or video games for that matter.  We simply talk about things, or hug each other and resolve the situation at hand.  If one of my girls hurts the other they usually both come to me to ask what it needs- ice, arnica, a band-aid?

But there is not shouting and screaming, "She did ____ to me!" as was the situation in our house all of last week.

Now, I think all of the far reaching, long-term detriment to raising children in a punishment driven model are quite obvious so there's no need to even write it.  This has been so well researched and documented over the past 40 years in particular, it is absolutely SHOCKING to me than anyone still does this to their kids.  But they do.  And most of the people in this family's church are still encouraged by the pastor to do the same.  And all in the name of God and Christianity.  I know I'm too close to the situation right now to have anything constructive to say on the topic.  All I can say right now is that it turns my stomach and makes me mad.  I know it should be none of my business how other people raise their kids, but ultimately we all share one world, right?  One world that could be brought together where people care about each other and work together.  I guess right now I'm just soooo confused how the teachings of Jesus could be used as a justification for filling children with hatred at such a young age.  These girls said, "I hate you." so often to each other and anyone else around whenever their parents weren't watching.  They derive pleasure out of causing pain to each other and others and haven't a clue what it means to work together cooperatively.  So the parents punish them even more believing that they have been given a 'difficult one' because God knew they could handle it.  What a crock of @#$!!  Not exactly an uplifting post, I know.  But sometimes I just wonder how we ever got this far removed from anything that could possibly make sense.    

growing things

Even in the tiniest little area, we love to grow things.  Right now we are staying with grandma who does not want a garden in the backyard so we are making due with a tiny balcony.  As I was making hummus the other day- which I make raw by first sprouting my garbanzo beans- it occurred to me that if they sprout, they must be able to grow!  I know, I'm quick that way.  So we planted one and now it is growing.  I have never seen a garbanzo bean plant and it really never even occurred to me that they grow on green plants.  But that is what modern living has done to many of us.  We know so very little about the foods we eat.

Here is our little garbanzo bean after about one week!  Very energetic and eager to get growing.

The other seeds we're trying right now are chia seeds.  Yup, from the chia pet fame.  Apparently chia seeds were used by Native Americans as an excellent food source.  They are sort of up and coming in the health food scene as a nutritious seed that expands in your stomach making you feel full after eating it.  We add them to our dried fruit and nut bars.   They are virtually tasteless and difficult to eat on their own since they are so tiny.  Imagine eating a handful of miniature poppy seeds- it's kind of like that.  But super good blended together with raw cacao nibs, coconut oil, agave and goji berries and hemp & sesame seeds- chilled and then cut into squares.  We are all very curious to see what kind of plant this turns out to be.  We looked up pictures and they grow quite large and when they would go to seeds the Indians would just swipe their hands across them and gather the seeds without even needing to get off of their horses.  Now that's fast food!

an egg-cellent egg-speriment

I grew up in an area that was known for its 'good schools.'  When in high school our school received honor from Washington DC as one of the top 10 in the nation- whatever that means. Men in suits came to study our classes sitting in the back with clipboards.  But somehow through all of this wonderful education I only learned yesterday that an egg is unbreakable with human hands.  I was reading some stuff on Iran and came across an article written by an architect who uses arches based on the design of an egg, which he said was extremely strong.  Strong?  I immediately mocked.  Then he went to say even if squeezed between the palms using elbows as leverage it could not be broken.   I of coarse ran to the kitchen, called the girls together and we experimented.  And were all shocked!

Making faces always helps squeeze harder!  The girls have been having a fun time asking people, "Do you think you can crack an egg with your bare hands?"  They have yet to find someone who says, no.  And are thinking of making some money off of it betting people.

I'm so amazed that I have now at age 40 learned this.  We've even had chickens and collected eggs daily.  I am continually amazed at nature and its infinite wisdom and design.  I was recently reading a book that said we would be far more technologically advanced if our children just observed nature more often.  I couldn't agree more. 

I find this profound on so many ways.  One thing that comes to mind is how something so delicate can be so strong.  I think we know many people like this- that seem so delicate until tough times hit and suddenly they show such strength.  And vice-versa.  Some very tough people can break so easily when hit in the right spot.  

Then we also discovered that we could get boiled eggs to stand up when they spin, buy not raw eggs.

lessons from the river

What, no pictures???  Well, we went tubing down a river- so nope, did not bring the camera!  But here's what struck me...  There were 11 of us in all -all tied together drifting down the river.  My cousin is in town from Germany with his son, whom we stayed with in Germany about 2 months ago.  It's been so great because all of the second cousins (the kids)  were already comfortably acquainted with each other.  Unlike last year where it took a few days for each to try to speak to the other since they do not know each other's language.  This trip is great.  Mine seem to intuitively understand German all of a sudden and his son is really doing excellent in English.

So anyway, there we were with wild horses on the banks of the river floating along when our first little rapids hit.  Suddenly we were all flinging all over the place- I got a rock right in my tailbone leaving a rather impressive bruise, one niece got her back scratched up, we got pushed to the side of the river with bamboo and low tree branches scratching our faces, backs and pulling our hair.  Everyone was shouting and screeching but above all the ruckus was laughter.  Good hearty, oh, my- I think I may pee- LAUGHTER!  After the rapids we hit a pool of still water and all of us began paddling back into the current.   In the stillness there was debris and murk in the water and we all wanted to keep on moving.  All of us concurred that it would be great if the whole river was one long rapid!  The thrill of the ride was well worth the minor injuries!  

So I got to thinking...How come I can't approach my entire life like that?  Why is it that I'm constantly teased into the notion that "If only..." - The fill in's here are endless...  If only I had a certain amount of money in my account, the right hair, my kids behaved this way, I had this contract, etc.  THEN I would be completely at peace.  Isn't that what many of the avatars through the ages have taught?  That stillness and peace is what we're looking for?  Then why did none of us want to stay in the still part of the river?  Wasn't it the contrast and thrill of the resistance of water on rock that delighted us most?

So, I thought it's good for a little reframe of my daily life.  I've heard it said before that, 'out of contrast are born new desires,'  - so at least for right now I'm ready to embrace the ride and not wish it away for some sort of imaginary 'peace.'   I mean, it's all semantics - because in embracing the chaos I feel more peaceful...  So maybe that is the key.  Who knows?  Certainly not me...

summer fun

I've been posting little lately because I haven't really seen my kids in weeks!  I've seen little bits and pieces of them and shadows of what I'm sure is them, but it is hot here and they have grown gils and fins apparently since they rarely come up for air...

Hope everyone is having a refreshing, relaxing summer!  

I saw this recently and just loved it...

backyard camp-not

Well, it was indeed a toasty night.  The cousins came over and everyone wanted to do the camp out at grandma's house.  She is just filling a pool with water which was definitely the highlight of the night.  This was taken around 10pm!  And yes, that water is straight from the hose and chilly.

There is something so fun about playing outside in the dark!  The harsh flash makes for awful pictures, but fun was had!

We didn't need sleeping bags or a tent here so the digs were on the cushy side!

But somewhere around midnight everyone decided they were way too hot- as it was still around 96 degrees to actually sleep, so they all headed in, except grandma who made it through the entire night.  Ironically, she was the only one who said she didn't want to join us for a night outside.

They still wanted to 'camp' so ended up here on the floor.  I think we may have to wait until fall to start sleeping outdoors again...

I do really love to sleep outside whenever possible and even if not outside I sleep with my windows all the way open for some good fresh air at night.  

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I just got this in my mailbox this morning, which I highly recommend listening to.  It is David Wolfe talking on the new scientific information on walking barefoot.  It's really great information!  And well, I like it because it justifies me letting my littles go barefoot all the time- haha!  I mean, it's one of those things where it is the most basic common sense principal in the world, but now we have scientific information to 'prove' that the world is in fact orderly and all of our modern conveniences interfere with the basic nature of the planet and if we would just return to a more natural state we'd be a lot better off.  Just like the sunglasses thing.  Now there are lots of studies saying that blocking UV rays from our retinas contributes to depression because those light rays are what help keep the brain in balance.  I know plenty of people that never walk outside without sunglasses and rubber soled shoes and a whole lot of sunscreen on.

One of the things I love about David's clip is that he mentions Steiner.  For those that are into Waldorf education- and I understand that not everyone is!! (I recently got a really intense hate email by an irate woman telling me I was ruining my children by exposing them to Waldorf- hahaha!!!)- it is a nice confirmation of some of the principals therein.  He talks about EMF fields and how exposure to the natural world eliminates them.  One of the main principals in Waldorf is having all natural materials for young children to play with.  Now again, through scientific research we are able to see the difference between a natural wooden toy and one make from plastics and other artificial materials.  I was recently at a neighbor's house and was again stunned by the toys available for her children.  Everything was made of synthetics and almost all of them were battery operated plastic toys.  Wow, was  the energy in that room toxic!  Plus the air condition running 24/7 here in Arizona - so who knows the last time a window was open.   I could hardly stand to spend the 5 minutes I was there in that room.  And then I'm reminded that most of the children in this country live in very similar environments.  It's nuts.  

I've also recently been turned on the Ringing Cedars series by a friend and can't put them down!  They're pretty out there and poorly written but some of the information in them is just so fascinating!  The basic story is that this Russian guy meets this woman who lives in Siberia in the woods alone and was mostly raised by animals.  It is much debated whether or not she truly exists and all of that- but there is definitely lots of interesting information about how to get along with the natural world.  For example, she says all of the animal and plant kingdoms are here to serve Man but we don't realize it.  Like when bugs crawl on our skin and bite us- it is apparently to help us detoxify and clean and open our pores and where the bug bites is very specific to our individual condition.  Now whether or not this is actually true - who knows!  But I told my kids and now when little bugs crawl on them we just watch to where the bug crawls and whether or not they will bite.  As opposed to what used to happen- a good swat and irritation by being bitten.  She gives info on planting your own garden and says that before planting a seed you should put it under your tongue for a certain amount of time and the fruit or vegetable will grow with the precise nutrients that your body is in need of!  I mean just the possibility of that being true is truly incredible!  Nature is so incredibly intelligent.  She also says that the more children are raised in nature the more they will excel technologically later since nothing that is ever invented doesn't already exist in nature.  There is also a dvd available about a school in Russia that is based on some of her work- the kids built the school themselves, do the entire 10 yr curriculum in one year and graduate at 17 with Master's degrees.  It all looks very fascinating and I can't wait to learn more...